


Caledonia

by Elri



Category: Wonder Woman (2017), Wonder Woman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 22:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16752592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elri/pseuds/Elri
Summary: Let me tell you that I love you; that I think about you all the timeCaledonia you're calling me and now I'm going homeBut if I should become a stranger you know that it would make me more than sadCaledonia's been everything I've ever hadA story about home, and love, and loss





	Caledonia

_I don't know if you can see the changes that have come over me_

Charlie sat at the piano, setting down the teacup that had replaced his usual whiskey glass. He’d stopped drinking in Veld, started playing again, and found that he’d missed the man he used to be. Movement to his right made Charlie look up to see Sami leaning on the piano, smiling down at him.

“One more for the night, mo ghràdh?” It made his heart skip a beat every time he was able to say that, every time he was able to speak out loud the thoughts and feelings that he’d been storing in his heart. Ironically, it had been when he’d stopped drinking that he’d found the courage to risk telling Sami the truth. No more drinking, no more temper, no more bar fights, he’d started to feel like someone who might not be a waste of time to love.

That night, like so many others, was crystal clear in his memory, but there was a brightness that made it stand out like a beacon in the fog. Charlie found himself returning back to it when the ghosts that haunted the corners of his mind started to creep out.

  
_In these last few days I've been afraid that I might drift away_  
_So I've been telling old stories, singing songs, that make me think about where I came from_  
_That's the reasons why I seem so far away today_

He’d been thinking for a while about what he wanted from life now that he wasn’t trying to drink himself into an early grave. One of the harder things he’d had to grapple with was the acceptance that he had given up on life after being discharged. Because of that, he hadn’t been trying to prepare for a life after the end of the war (not that he’d seen an end in sight).

Charlie and Sami had ended up on the roof of their apartment building, following an impulse to find out if they could see the stars from there.

Charlie looked at Sami, smiling up at the sky, and was brought back to that night in Veld. They’d stayed in the courtyard as everyone else went inside to sleep. The music and drinks of the celebration had been put away for the night but there were a few lights left on, illuminating the falling snow. Sami had been in a good mood all night, with good reason, and Charlie realized it had been a while since he’d seen Sami actually happy and not just putting on a face for a con.

As they’d sat by the fountain, Charlie looked over and saw Sami grinning, “What are you smiling about?”

“I'd begun to think that there was no hope left. I'm very happy to find out that I was wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look around, Charlie,” Sami gestured to the people around them, leaning on each other and walking arm-in-arm, “love is stronger than war. If love can endure, then maybe we can too.”

“Aye,” Charlie agreed, “Maybe we can.”

On the roof, months later, Charlie felt himself floating in between chapters of his life. He liked the prospect of continuing to go on missions with Sami and Chief and now Etta, but there wasn’t job security in that. Any day they could run out of missions or (more likely) have their team defunded and kicked out. Then what?

If they all moved apart, what was to keep Charlie from begin lost?

Maybe he could go home, it had been a while since he’d seen his beloved Highlands. It could be good to visit his family…

But his family was here.

“Charlie?” Sami’s voice startled him out of his musings.

“Hmm?”

“Are you alright? You seemed very far away all of a sudden.”

“Just thinkin’ about the future.”

Sami whistled low, “anything in particular?”

“Trying to figure out the next step, looking towards settling down more.”

“You’re not looking to retire already, are you?” He nudged Charlie teasingly.

“Nah, not for a while yet. I do like the idea of having something stable to come home for, though.”

“Such as?”

 _Let me tell you that I love you; that I think about you all the time_  
_Caledonia you're calling me and now I'm going home_

“You?”

Sami met Charlie’s unwavering gaze, hope sparking up in his eyes. “Me?”

“If you’d let me.”

“Why me?”

_But if I should become a stranger you know that it would make me more than sad  
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had_

“Because if I’m coming home for you, then that means you’re going to be there too. And if everything falls apart tomorrow, you’re the one thing I don’t want to lose.”

Sami’s eyes watered, and for a moment Charlie was afraid he’d said something wrong. But Sami’s hand came up and gently rested on the nape of Charlie’s neck to pull him in for a kiss. Charlie’s hands grabbed onto Sami’s shirt, needing to feel that this was really happening.

When they pulled back for breath, Sami rested his forehead against Charlie’s, “I’m right here, as long as you’ll have me I’m here.”

_I have moved and I've kept on moving, proved the points that I needed proving  
Lost the friends that I needed losing, found others on the way_

_I have tried and I've kept on trying, stolen dreams, yes there's no denying  
I have traveled hard with conscience flying somewhere with the wind_

It hadn’t been an easy start, not by any means. Being cautious about drawing unwanted attention meant sometimes putting more distance between themselves than they wanted. Charlie’s nightmares had gotten better but there were still nights when he woke up in a cold sweat, choking on tears and screams. Sami too had his share of restless nights, guilt and fear and anxiety leaving him with shadows under his eyes in the morning. Neither knew how to talk about these things at first after trying to ignore them for so long.

Then one morning Charlie looked up across the breakfast table and saw the lines around Sami’s eyes and mouth were deep as he frowned at the morning paper. His frown lines had never been that deep before. Silently, Charlie reached out across the table and put his hand over Sami’s, squeezing when he looked up.

“Sami, love, are you alright?”

The walls started coming down that morning. They spent the day sitting together in the quiet of their living room, their words becoming pick-axes and wrecking balls as they tore away their own barriers. It left them emotionally exposed, totally vulnerable to the other, and relieved. There was no judgment, no scorn or dismissal, only honesty and acceptance. They fell asleep with their legs tangled and their foreheads pressed together, anchoring each other through the night.

 _Let me tell you that I love you; that I think about you all the time…_  
_Caledonia’s been everything I’ve ever had_

Their team, their family, accepted them as well. No one seemed surprised by it, if anything they were more surprised that Charlie had been the one to make the first real move (he tried not to take it personally). Things changed, but only for the better. Sami and Charlie’s emotional openness extended to the others. They were less afraid of being honest, of saying what was on their minds and in their hearts. The friendly insults and casual banter was still there, but it was more likely to be matched with a genuine compliment or kind gesture.

They reached out for each other more, physically and emotionally. When Charlie felt his mind turning against him, he didn’t try to fight it alone anymore. When Sami felt like the expectations of the world were going to suffocate him, he didn’t just grin and bear it. They went out to the pubs less, having fewer reasons to engage in the hustle and bustle of the London night life. The nights they weren’t on a mission were mostly spent in their apartment, sometimes inviting the team over for a family dinner. They shared childhood stories, dreams, old memories, weaving together their pasts like they’d always been there for each other.

One week, in late summer, they managed to get out to the countryside for a few days. It had been a long time since they’d been able to just sit outside and look at the stars without having to maintain constant vigilance. They spent one day at the beach, wading into the water and running from the tide like kids. Charlie couldn’t remember ever laughing that much before, even with Sami. There was no one else around, they didn’t have to hide, and he thought his heart would burst from how free he felt. They had a message from Etta waiting for them when they got back, a new mission already, but they didn’t mind.

_Now I'm sitting here before the fire, the empty room the forest choir_  
_The flames that couldn't get any higher they've withered now they've gone_

Charlie looked up from the piano as the bell rang over the door. Diana, Chief, and Etta came in, walking towards him. He waved to them, “Diana! You’re just in time for last call. I was about to play one more song for Sami, care to join us?”

“Charlie,” Diana said softly, tears in her eyes, “You have to let him go.”

His hands stuttered over the keys, “What?”

She reached out and took his hand, squeezing tight, “Sami died three months ago, in Austria. I wish he was here, Charlie, but he’s gone.”

“I-” He took a shaky breath, hands trembling.

 

It had all happened so fast. They were on their way out when an explosive device had gone off a little too close. Sami and Charlie had been closest, they both went down. Sami was the first to scramble to his feet, grabbing Charlie and helping him up.

“Come on, Charlie, I’ve got you, we’ve got to keep moving.”

Chief and Etta were waiting for them on the edge of the tree line, the thick woods their only chance at cover. There was a truck waiting on the other side for them to take back across the border. They plunged through the trees, trying not to look back where the bullets were flying from. Charlie and Sami clung onto each other, somehow not tripping over anything. When they reached the truck they half climbed half fell into the bed, banging on the side for Chief to move.

“Are you two alright?” Etta asked.

“I’m good,” Charlie panted, “Sami?”

Hearing no response, he turned in time to see Sami pulling back his coat to reveal the shrapnel sunk deep into his side. Sami looked up at Charlie, slowly, like he was moving underwater, and fell back.

“ **Sami!** ”

Etta moved towards the cab to tell Chief to step on it while Charlie rushed to Sami’s side, pulling him into his lap. “Sami, love, hang on, it’s going to be alright. Stay with me.”

Sami’s hand came up to rest on Charlie’s cheek, “I love you, Charlie.”

“I love you too, Sameer.” Charlie clutched Sami tighter, seeing his eyes start to fade. “Please,” He whispered, “Please don’t go. You promised, as long as I’ll have you, and I’m not ready to lose you. Please, Sami.”

  
_But I'm steady thinking, my way is clear and I know what I will do tomorrow_

“It should’ve been me,” Charlie said quietly in the almost empty bar. “It should've been me. Sami should still be here.”

“And if he were, he'd be saying the same thing about you.” Etta stepped forward and put her hand on his shoulder, “it should've been no one, Charlie. If there were a way to bring him back Lord knows we wouldn't stop until we found it; but we can't. We just have to keep living.”

Charlie looked from Etta to Diana, “Does it stop hurting?”

“I don't know yet.”

“The only way to find out,” Chief said, “is to keep going. We can't stay stuck in the past, Charlie.”

Charlie let them pull him away from the piano, glancing at where Sami had stood as he put on his coat. It was cold and wet outside, nothing new for this time of year. He stood for a little while just breathing in the London air, letting it seep past the numbness. The sky was hidden by clouds and buildings, but Charlie was certain he caught a glimpse of a star winking down at him.

“I’m going home,” Charlie said finally. “I think it’s been long enough.”

_When the hands have shaken and the kisses flow, well I will disappear…_

_Caledonia you’re calling me and now I’m going home_

Over the next week Charlie packed up his belongings, selling most of what he wouldn’t be able to bring with him. He turned down the others’ offers of help, saying this was something he needed to do himself.

He took a late train, deciding to stay overnight in Edinburgh before taking an early train out to the country. The team saw him off at the station, Etta hugging him tighter than she would ever admit.

“Take care of yourself, Charlie.”

It was misty when Charlie stepped off the train in the early morning. He didn’t have much with him, all of it packed into one bag, but it was all he needed. As he walked out into the pale haze, it wrapped around him in a welcoming embrace, taking him out of sight.

It’s said that in the mornings on the moors, when the sun is breaking through the mists, sometimes you can hear a voice singing softly…

 _I'll walk beside you through the passing years_  
_Through days of cloud and sunshine, joy and tears_  
_And when the great call comes, though sunset gleams_  
_I'll walk beside you through the land of dreams._

**Author's Note:**

> The title and all the lyrics until the very end are from the song of the same name by Dougie MacLean: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP8A9rtg0iI>  
> The final lyrics are from I'll Walk Beside You, the song Charlie sings in Veld: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaRfBH8IOIc>


End file.
